The Freedoms of Facebook

What do I know? Most folks like to be in a club, even if is a club dedicated to people who don't like clubs. We enjoy the camaraderie and companionship from our dealings with other like-minded or otherwise interesting folks that we meet there. Many clubs have rules, but most of the rules are at least accessible, to some extent, for the purposes of consultation and verification.

In the day of the internet-based social networks, things are a bit harder to get a firm handle on. Sure, there is great freedom to display your own colors and befriend people you may never actually meet in person, bet there are also ways for people to secretly blow the whistle on one another, without needing to consult the rulebook or offering a chance for either party to learn what exactly is or isn't allowed.

What happened now? Like many of us, my wife enjoys strongly defending her opinions, but doesn't go out of her way to shove it down anybody's throat. Occasionally she will post her own commentary, or repeat that from someone else so that she can share it with her friends. Many of these are of a political slant, and some of her friends take issue with the topics, while others support them.

For some reason not known to us, some of my wife's posts are made inaccessible, as if somebody thought either the content of the post or its discussion afterward were unseemly or improper. I'd like to add that not a single one of the posts that I had the pleasure of reading was something that should be found as objectionable. Sure there has been satire, chastising, even some level of contempt, but never anything that should be construed as downright inappropriate to the point of deserving its removal.

This morning, it happened again. Here is how it started:



I happened to be watching the page when Allison posted a new status message saying she had been censored again, so I grabbed a screen capture of before (above) and after (below):



Now, there is no trace of its existence.

Is there anything that can be learned from this? I really don't know if we can find that out. It would be helpful to at least have gotten a message giving some reason for removing the offending information, but there has never been any of that either. There is no clue as to why these events have happened other than that they could be called "Controversial."

This sort of censorship is the worst, because it does not allow for the correction of one's actions to enable the information to to become "less offensive," AND it does not give the owner of the information any feedback to know what to avoid in the future.

Total Crap, Facebook.

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And now for something completely different...

This post is dedicated to my friend Samuel, who has stumbled across some hard times of late and is looking for help.  I don't feel that I can offer much in the way of unbiased advise, as a lot of what he is going through seems to be similar to my own plight, but I told him that reading back what he's told me might help him at least find some clarity, which may in turn help lead to better times.

What do I know?  Throughout our lives, we find people with similar and different points of view.  Many of them are influenced heavily by their upbringing, which can be good or bad.  Some folks seeks out new friendships while others hide from them.  Both can be for reasons good or bad.  To tell someone involved in a relationship with somebody else, no matter how casual or intimate, that they need to do something the same or different to makes thing "better" is a laughable ideal at best.  There are so many forces at play that there is really no guarantee, even with advice from that person's mother, that things will go the way they want it to go.

What happened now?  Samuel has been in a few failed marriages, but his last one didn't really break off completely.  He's been a pretty private person for most of his adult life, and enjoys not having to worry about such things as "social skills" where large groups of people are concerned.  Samuel and his latest wife are attempting to make things work again, and he says he really loves her and wants to be able to enjoy her company for a long time to come.  His big problem is in addressing questions and concerns about what she wants, without feeling like he's intruding upon areas that he feels she wants to keep private.  He wants to respect her privacy, but doesn't want to suffer the possible effects of non-communication, which he feels led to her need for other companionship.

To make matters worse, he has reason to believe that his wife hasn't exactly been telling the truth to him about her reasons for returning, or that she isn't still involved with other close friends of hers.  She wants to leave her friends out of their relationship, but he feels that there is value in learning about them that might expose needs that neither of them has openly addressed to one another.  She has a number of very intimate friends (male and female) that she sees on a regular basis, and he questions their motivations in giving her their relationship advice.

Samuel's life resonates with my own in many ways, so not only is it next to impossible for me to give any advice that would not be tainted with my own personal judgments and downfalls, but for the reasons stated at the beginning I believe it quite foolhardy to offer anything other than well-wishes for them both.  I sincerely hope that they can find a mutual respect for each other that allows them to be who they are and not hurt the other.

My own chosen course is attempting to apply patience in all my dealings with my own wife.  I try to brace myself for each new revelation, which is usually accompanied by lots of yelling, and never seems to have as positive an outcome as I would hope.  I just pray that we can hold on long enough that (even if it turns out we can't be together) we can at least come out with a stronger and more respectful understanding of one another.  We've got kids to worry about, and while it gives us something to share, it also means less time to share with just the two of us.

Samuel, I'm sorry I can't give you more.  I hope you'll be able to find your way to happiness, just as so many of us are looking for the same thing.

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The Struggle to Keep U.S. Down

What do I know?  There is an unnamed class of U.S. citizenry that is being taken advantage of to no end.  While most are not aware of their membership in this class, we (because I am certainly not immune from this condition) are an overwhelming majority of the population at one time or another.  As good citizens, we have a responsibility to help these folks with special needs.  We need to show them love, and not gloss over the realities of the world in a poorly orchestrated attempt to "shelter" them.

I believe that we have failed these people in two ways, and both are completely our own responsibility as good citizens.  The first is an undeveloped education system that is being forced to do less in order that everyone be the same.  The second is the never ending supply of folks seeking to take unfair advantage of our condition in order to further their own goals.  We allow them to dictate our ways and preferences in ways that we should all be ashamed of.

What makes this such a struggle is our diversification and specialization as time goes on.  Anyone attempting to get anywhere in life is expected to be pretty skilled at one or a few activities, and then allowed to let their skills fall off in other areas.  If we are not allowed the opportunity to help ourselves continue to grow, we will continue down the path of relative ignorance.

What happened now?  Once again, we are allowing the wool-pullers to "guide" us in the direction of their choosing.  I'm not here to make a political stand for or against anyone.  Rather, I'm here to make an apolitical stand.  We have let ourselves become a society of Us versus Them, and it needs to stop.

I've been hearing of too many people siding with their political candidate of choice, simply because they like them or because they aren't the person they don't like.  In this day of information overload, it is all too easy to simply shut it out, but doing that will allow the Wool-Pullers to win!  Do you know what else helps them win?  Getting irate about how terrible they are can actually turn those of us in the unnamed class away from from you, and cause us to have sympathy for the bad people.  We just don't know any better, and don't have the inclination to find out when somebody wants to yell about it.

We need to find a way to act together, no matter who wins, or we will be lost in the devisive rhetoric engendered by the pushers of wool.  The next time you see somebody falling victim to sloganeering or lying to keep your attention, grab that wool and make them a sweater!!

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On the next episode of Desperate Mansionwives...

What have I seen on TV? I'm a fan of the show Desperate Housewives. I enjoy the way the characters can manage to get themselves into some rather impossible situations, and the even more impossible methods they think up to get out of them. While waiting for the new season to start, it seems as if I'm getting political substitute in the form of certain parties trying to find their way to an election victory.

The show features a woman named Bree Van de Kamp (now Bree Hodge), who has been brought to the forefront of my attention when regarding a certain young woman who might be running for the office of Vice President. Bree is known for being very proper and upstanding. She is a regular attendee at church, is very involved in her community, and knows her way around firearms. She also has some skeletons in her closet from time to time. One of the those skeletons came from her daughter having unprotected sex at an early age. In order to save face, Bree sent her daughter to a convent in Switzerland to stay for the rest of her pregnancy, but told everyone she was "continuing her studies" in Europe. Knowing that her daughter wouldn't want to keep the baby, Bree began wearing a fake belly to look pregnant to the outside world with the intention of raising the baby as her own after it was born.

What happened now? There are a number of stories I have become aware of that point to a similar tale that could try to combine a Desperate Housewives-like story with one not unlike The West Wing! What if Bree's Wisteria Lane was in a the booming metropolis of Wasilla, Alaska? How about it if Bree's strong sense of duty let her to run for Mayor, then Governor of the state? What if her daughter, Danielle, was taken out of school for eight months because of a particularly strong case of mononucleosis, instead of calling it traveling abroad, because she was actually pregnant? What if Bree was being considered as a possible candidate for Vice President of the United States, and realized that the shallow covering for her daughter's actions might not stand up to nationwide scrutiny?

How would you make the scheme less susceptible to leaks and holes? If I were Bree, I might consider a new twist. It might be a fitting lesson for my daughter (now leading a much more public and responsible life) to strap on my fake pregnant belly for a few months, just long enough for it to establish the impossibility of the real pregnancy having been hers. After a few months, I could trump up some story about how the pregnancy was threatening my daughter's life. If my daughter was behaving well, she wouldn't need to be dealt with directly, but could simply lose the belly.

That would be some real entertainment.

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Consumption Plug

What do I know? Gasoline and other petroleum products power our lives. Some more than others, but nearly everyone needs it in some way. There have always been corners that can be cut to liberate less of your liquid (or frozen) assets in the process of maintaining your chosen lifestyle, but they are not always apparent to the average person.

What has been happening? The rising costs of fuel, and subsequent cost of goods/services needing fuel for transport/heating, has made the subjects of frugality much more popular.

I'd like to think that to some small extent, my family and I have responded appropriately to the increasing cost of everything by shedding our older home, out in the woods, and moving to a more efficient (and larger) home in town. We are now a few blocks from the bus, a few blocks from the bike trail, and about 4 miles closer to everything else. We still have the same two full size sedans, but as those go, they don't do too bad. I'm trying to drive to work only once a week, at most. I can ride my bike or walk to the van pool, and we won't be driving to a whole different town for childcare for my son since he'll be starting kindergarten this fall.

As a courtesy to my fellow consumers, I'm placing a gadget in the sidebar from an organization run by fellow consumers that helps you find the lowest gas prices in your area. Maybe it can help you like it has me. Keep in mind that it isn't worth driving out of your way to get gas that is 10 cents cheaper than whatever place you might be driving by originally, but if you know ahead of time where you need to stop it can prevent you any hesitation or feeling like you need to drive back around the block to get the lowest price.

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Dining Secrets

What do I know?  There are many different eating establishments which specialize in differing ethic cuisines.  This (light hearted) blog entry celebrates those establishments which go so far as to make you think they might be a little more authentic than they really are.  I find this particular situation most often in Mexican restaurants.  I'm no stranger to being guided to my seat by a nice person sporting a false Spanish accent.  Sometimes I can flush them out of their protective verbal cover with a well timed question, and other times I can't.

What happened now? Salvatore's Cafe was conveniently located within our own hotel, which furnished us with a coupon to pique our curiosity.  We scanned the menu from our room and decided to give the place a try.  We were greeted upon entry by a friendly young man who seemed at first to have a slight Italian accent.  He seated us, took our orders, and served our food.  All the while, I thought something strange was going on.  What really sent me spinning was when our server (Carlos) said Vodka-Tonic like he learned to say it from Spanish-speaking folk.  While we were eating our food (which was quite good, by the way) we overheard a loud latin-based conversation coming from the bar.  I asked Allison if she thought it sounded more like Spanish or Italian.  She had taken some Spanish in college not too long ago, so I'm happy to trust her judgment.  She laughed after giving a listen, and admitted that it was indeed Spanish.

This changed the course of the entire meal.  Every word mentioned by the staff brought a secret smirk to my face.  The best part about this was that every time we contemplated where we might eat our next meal, I had to try not to dwell upon the next contestant in everyone's favorite food gameshow: Who's Food Is It, Anyway?  Afterward I remembered an old idea I had for my brother to start a food review site consisting only of Bacon Cheeseburgers.  A possible companion restaurant expose could involve judging authentic staff accents.

A Good Memorial Day to you and yours!!

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Advertising or Having Public Relations?

What do I know?  Opinion polls matter.  People with lots of money are desperate to find out what they can do (or not do in many cases) to make your life better (or less obviously bad), so that they can be better positioned to get their name in the history books.  When something bad happens to them or theirs, they are going to go to just as much effort to minimize the public backlash by carefully wielding their influence to recast the event in better light.

What happened now?  Maybe that's not the right question.  What could make it worse?  This is an expanding field, crossing the fields of marketing & sales, publishing, psychology, chemistry, politics, and is invading every aspect of our lives.  Many folks have been able to selectively block out these intrusions into their lives, while others are always waiting for the latest instructions from the subversive secret cabal.  This was demonstrated to me by my children's ability to pick up on advertising jingles and commercials.  One of their favorites songs of late is from truth.org's "Magical Amount" commercial.  They were instantly hooked by the animated characters and the word "magic" mentioned in the lyrics.  They wanted to watch it over and over again, so we had a nice little talk about what it really meant.

There's a lot more to talk about here, but I'm having a hard time not getting spun up thinking about it.  Just keep a watchful eye and you'll see more opportunistic product placement and hear more carefully worded quotes than you would have ever thought possible.

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